June 15, 2004 l 12:58 a.m.

This is why the prospects of meetimg someone online get smaller and smaller every night...

This is a real conversation from a total stranger... the name has been slightly altered... only in that I took some numbers off the end of his screenname...

I am, of course, snail1369... scooter, is, I guess, the sad pervert.

My side comments and interpretations will be in parenthesis...

scooter2222: how ru

scooter2222: wheere in miami are ya

(yeah hold on, let me give you my address)

scooter2222: 32/m/miami

snail1369: tell me about yourself

scooter2222: i got a webcam

snail1369: exciting

scooter2222: lol

scooter2222: ya

scooter2222: im 5'11

scooter2222: 189

scooter2222: lbs

scooter2222: brwn

scooter2222: hair blueish greenussh eyes

(sounds like white trash to me)

snail1369: tell me about what you are like, not what you look like

(genius)

scooter2222: im cute smart funny

scooter2222: ask me more

scooter2222: im down to earth

snail1369: favorite:

scooter2222: i make u luagh

snail1369: places

snail1369: movies

snail1369: books

snail1369: foods

scooter2222: las vegas

snail1369: music

scooter2222: dumb and dumber

(that's hot)

scooter2222: pasta

snail1369: dumb and dumber? out of all the films in the universe your first choice for favorite is Dumb and Dumber?

scooter2222: lol wel i like it

scooter2222: its funnnny

snail1369: yeah, it is

snail1369: I've just never heard of someone naming it as a favorite film

scooter2222: i should come there and grab your hair tell u to bend over my knee i should spank ya

scooter2222: u naughty girl

scooter2222: u like that

(What the hell????)

snail1369: um... I didn't see that coming

scooter2222: lol

(What is so "lol" about that? I hate when people just type that out of lack of a better thing to say)

snail1369:whatever

He then went on to verify my suspicions that he was indeed a red neck by showing me his web cam. Needless to say he was naked. He had the farmers tan and looks to match the Dale character from "King of the Hill"... wow, that guy knows what women want... whew... Caliente!!!