April 27, 2004 l 8:31 p.m.

So I started this "Diary" like years ago and wrote in it all of two days before forgetting it altogether...perhaps out of laziness, perhaps out of boredom.

I think I can give it another go now. I am comfortably bored and looking for direction in my life. Hoping for new beginnings, yet stubborn in my ways.

I know I need to get off my ass and find a better job, but dammit, WHAT IS MY PASSION?!?

I find myself asking this very question everynight as I lay restlessly in bed... seriously. I never actually come up with an answer, though. My life needs structure and discipline... too bad I cringe at the thought of actually changing my social lifestyle.

Not that I'm all into the clubbing as I used to be... even that has lost its luster. Thing is, I like the option of a non-sceduled life. I want to coil up into fetal position at the very thought being a straight nine to fiver...ugh...

I love to go out... I love to do nothing... I love, to stay at home and pretend to sleep the better part of the day... I love to smoke...whatever... I love to just watch people... I love to watch life... I love to be happy (on the inside, anyway)

I dunno, maybe it will come to me soon... my passion, that is.